An Ode to Innocence

A plea: these posts are meant to be my thoughts you can comment on, not my thoughts on display. Please comment! I want to hear about your thoughts and opinions!

The best part about being Indian in a non-Indian society is…just that. You can’t be Indian in India these days. At least not the Indian I grew up thinking I was, or in the India I thought was half way around the world. It’s much easier to defend and live by Indian values when you are in a totally different culture where there’s a clear distinction between Indian and American. When you’re in India, everyone looks like you, eats like you, talks like you… so suddenly the boundaries are blurred, and it’s much more difficult to distinguish yourself and your values from those around you.

I’m in India for the first time trying to do work and trying to get others to help me do work. I wasn’t completely oblivious before I came, but I certainly didn’t expect the pessimism that is rampant in this society. I came here with certain expectations of what “Indian” meant and I looked to those around me to fulfill those expectations. After all, I was in India, and everyone does look like me. Trust…honesty…faith. These were all things I looked for, and instead, much of what I see around me is pessimism and greed.

(Please keep in mind; I am not trying to compare India with the US or any other place. I know each has its own problems, but the following is an explanation of why I am aghast- the fact that my India is not the same as the India I see around me.)

Almost every problem in India can be traced back to one of two culprits: wealth and power. I can quote examples from my daily experience in the hospital. There is a clear power hierarchy among employees, and it is often emphasized. For example, I was in the radiology department the other day conducting surveys. I was sitting in the waiting room with patients watching a doctor, technician, and nurse in a heated meeting. Soon, the doctor leaves and the technician starts yelling at the nurse demanding why she hadn’t told him about a new patient. The nurse just listens and comes back to the reception desk to call for the next patient. I was disgusted watching this display. The technician specifically had to pass the blame from himself to the nurse, and that in front of all the patients in the room. His own position in the power hierarchy is confirmed, and the nurse’s credibility with patients suffers as a result.

This power dynamic is guarded viciously. If someone transgresses their boundaries, he or she pays dearly. If the nurse had said something back to the technician, she would have had her next raise cancelled and perhaps fired. The mentality is common in society as a whole. If you ever catch someone stealing, all you have to do is yell thief! You can be sure that everyone around you will jump to your help and give the offender a through verbal or physical bashing. Punishment comes harshly and quickly in this society. In such a situation, the only way to escape is to make someone else the scapegoat. Often, that person is your inferior, just like the technician with the nurse.

The powerful are often the most wealthy and hold positions of responsibility. If anyone has ever tried to get an official document from a government office or get admission into a college or university in India, you can be sure that his or her story will include money, sucking up, and/or many days of hassle. Getting into any reputable college through merit requires scoring in the top 5-10% of students in your state. If you don’t have the score, you can pay mandatory “donations” to gain acceptance. Want to get a passport? Get ready to stand line for a few days. (But give some exuberant compliments to your acquaintance who has a connection with a desk clerk in the office, and your application gets expedited.)

The display of power is sickening sometimes. Ever seen any of the Indian talent shows or political rallies? Every kid falls at the feet of a no good actor and every supporter clamors for a chance to touch the feet of the party candidate, as though these people are some kind of living miracle. The contestants on these shows and the supporters at these rallies certainly don’t expect to receive genuine blessings from these “big” names. Instead, it is merely a show to propagate the power hierarchy. The contestant sucks up to the celebrity for some brownie points, and the celebrity appears on the show to have the audience salivating at his feet.

For the majority of the society that is not part of these elite wealthy or powerful, life becomes a routine of rooted pessimism and inherent suspicion. You suspect the auto driver and the cloth merchant to overcharge you, and you suspect the cleaning ladies and passengers next to you on the train to steal your things. You suspect conniving beggars and holy men to be frauds and in my case, you suspect anyone who tries to ask you about your experience in a hospital to try to get you in trouble. Even though they were repeatedly told that the survey was confidential, patients would be worried that giving negative feedback would affect their treatment and employees would worry that management would learn of their complaints and lower their pay. It’s a pitiable situation. I was amazed. These people are fueled on this pessimism and suspicion. They lead their lives suspecting each other, and they make a living in spite of the government. Each man protects himself and his immediate family and jumps at every opportunity to earn money. To survive, you eat a little fish, or a bigger fish eats you.

Call me naïve or call me arrogant, but I refuse to believe that the society I see around me is what India has become. I refuse to believe that the values I thought were inherent to this land are lost amidst the rule of wealth and power. I refuse to believe that people are reduced to suspicion because every relationship is utilized for personal gain. I have faith that these values are still latent in some, and that these some will revitalize India to shine in its own light. I have faith that I will see My India again.